Sunday, June 01, 2008

AthensDoorGuy turns into a Customer

After a much needed vacation and a lot of time spent in a bar scene that I'm not familiar with, I still conclude that people are still idiots when you cram them into a room, pump deafing dance music through speakers turned up extraordinarily loud and feed them alcohol and cocaine until they decide to fight and fuck each other.

I was fortunate enough to be in a place where I got to observe overly tanned, spiked hair, unbuttoned shirt, juiced up kids who, luckily for me, managed to stay out of my way most of the time.

Most of that time, that is. Not the entire time.

Leaving the bar at last call, we were ushered towards a parking lot by the bar staff and police, and encouraged to leave as quickly as possible. Being a bar employee myself, I made sure to not waste any time getting the hell out of their way so they could do what I want to do at the end of the night after work: Have a beer and go home.

And so we did. But not before one of the ladies I was with was approached by a drunken, coked up, spiked hair, unbuttoned shirt, retard in a way that I found offensive. Grabbing a random girls elbow, and telling her she should come home with him right then doesn't normally get on my good side. Especially not at 2am when the bars are emptying. I told him she was with me and he turned and walked away.

Brushing off the encounter as one that wasn't notable at all, we continued towards our car when we noticed our drunken guido following us on the phone and yelling at me loudly. Apparently, I had disrespected him and he let me know in no uncertain terms that he wasn't happy with how I handled the situation.

I turned to face him and our conversation with something like this:

"Dude, quit following us. Go away."

"What theee fu-fuu....fuck! Fuck this shit, nigga! I'll kick your ass! I didn't know she was your girl, why you gotta be dissin me like that?"

"No you won't. Go away or I just might take you up on your offer you little fucker," I said, the alcohol I had consumed fueling my rage towards him without any hope of stopping it at this point.

"I gots ten niggas on the way! You don't wanna fuck with me!" he slurred his words. "I'm in the fucking Navy!" if that made him any more tough.

Having very few encounters with a type of person like this, I recall finding it weird that a white, middle class suburban shit head like this would feel it neccessary, or even appropriate, to use a word that normally would offend African American people.

Just a few seconds later I found myself in a fairly bad spot. Instead of the one guido I was squaring off with and getting ready to beat the shit out of for simply being a total and complete waste of a human life, three of his friends joined in with him.

I was surrounded. The shit talking went back and forth for a moment and I determined that none of them were prepared to fight over stupid shit. They recognized their drunk and coked up friend was acting like an idiot and instead of ending our encounter with fists thrown and a trip to the hospital and/or jail, all of them ended up apologizing to me and offering to buy me a drink. This isn't to say my physical presence or ability to talk shit to some drunken kid is so developed that I made them run off with their tails in between their legs - after all, I was outnumbered 4 to 1 - but it has everything to do with the fact that maybe not every single one of the drunken idiots I deal with on an nightly basis is a complete and total waste, unlike the original guido.

They recognized their friend was about to be in a bad spot, and recognized that he had consumed too much of whatever he was on, and his actions lead to the position he found himself in.

I was just glad that things could be settled without a fight and trip to jail given the large police presence, and I'm sure they were too.

But to be totally honest, a little part of me wishes that we had.


At 7:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Miami? Jersey? Which guido-ville was it?


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