Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I'm Back

I apologize for my unexpected and unannounced leave of absence recently. Cutting straight through my bullshit excuses and promises, I won't offer any halfassed explainations to why I haven't written on here lately, but suffice to say, the world of downtown and drunk frat boys still remains as strong as it ever was. I, unfortunately, continue to remain directly in the epicenter as we speak.

Our last parting left us around Twilight, where I spent the majority of my night running to fights and escorting out drunk people throughout the evening. Apparently, 12 hours of drinking doesn't agree with everyone (myself not included, thank you) and after your 18th or 19th jagerbomb, the need arises to fight anything within arms reach of you. I can compare that night to our recent Alabama game night where I spent the majority of my time and frustration hauling out goofballs that decided they'd rather wrestle around on the ground with a random guy than spend their time talking to the hot girls. Why? We may never know. It doesn't matter how hard you hit the other guy, we're there to toss you out and now nobody's going home with you at this point.

Since then, graduation has come and gone and the wonderful weekend that accompanied it was filled with the usual drunk graduates/parents combo, which is always a treat to watch. Parents trying to relive their college days and failing miserably, some of who ended up escorted out and - yes even this - tossed in the gutter. As doorguys, we don't discriminate. A 19 year old drunken shithead is just as bad as a 50 year old drunken shithead. They all go out in the same way, and if we needed to prove it to ourselves one last time, we did just that last Friday night.

Some other highlights of the weekend included me breaking a bottle in frustration behind the bar, screaming at our customers who the word "patience" did not exist in their vocabulary, cleaning up the mysterious "hidden vomit" that tends to place itself in between walls and furniture somehow, as well as a whole lot of binge drinking after work in order to relax a little bit and pretend that I didn't want to murder someone in front of our customers in order to make an example.

The high point, however, was my night - the exact one slips my mind, unfortunately - standing at the door alone in the rain for the duration.

And there you go. I've done some brainstorming recently for a few new posts, which seem to be harder and harder to come by as time goes on, but hopefully I'll have them up soon. No bullshit this time. I'm only saying soon. I hope.


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