Saturday, June 16, 2007


Here's a bit of advice, and following it if you find yourself in the following situation will certainly do nothing but help you.

If you find yourself being forcefully removed from a bar by a half dozen bar employees, then don't fight us. This makes things worse for only yourself. More than likely you're in a headlock because you, in your drunken state, did something very stupid. So don't act like we're treating you badly without cause. You started this, remember? Oh, you don't? Well, let me explain. You do stupid shit in a bar and get caught, so this is how it works. The harder you fight us on the way out, the more uncomfortable we'll make it for you. Trust me. Don't get angry when I shove you out the door onto the sidewalk. This is just how things are done.

Why you were treated like that, you're not sure. Consider that it's entirely possible that the dozen drinks you've consumed in the last hour might be clouding your judgement and short term memory. However, I can assure you that I don't haphazardly grab random customers around the neck and manhandle them unless they deserve it. Fighting with us or someone else could be one reason. Refusing to leave is another. I promise I don't want to do this. It makes my night more difficult, and in my old(er) age I'm beginning to bruise more easily and I hate waking up the next morning covered in bruises.

Help us out here. Do what we ask you to do. It's for a reason, believe me. If you find yourself locked up by a bar employee, then let him lead you outside. Your night is over. Big deal.

Don't stand outside and talk shit to us. Fighting on the sidewalk is a sure way to spend the night in the wonderful Athens-Clarke County jail. There's a lot of pissed off cops near the end of the night, and plenty of them are just looking for a reason to hook you up. Just go home.

So accept it. There's always next weekend. As for me, I just want to do my job and go home.


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