Thursday, April 12, 2007


It's not common to walk into the bathroom and find two frat boys standing face to face, pissing on each other simultaneously. And laughing about it.

But it happened to me last night. Having worked downtown for years and years, I sometimes think I've seen and experienced just about everything that drunk college kids can throw at me. And then something like this happens. I was dumbfounded and it took me a second to fully comprehend what was going on. Then I kicked into bouncer mode and told them to cut that shit out. They quickly stopped and left the bathroom.

In hindsight, I should have kicked them out but I was taken by suprise. They left right after that anyway, but thats not always a scene you expect to find when walking into the bathroom. Makes me wish we had an employee bathroom. On top of that, I'm not a big fan of going into a situation when I'm outnumbered in the bathroom where no one can see me.

Stuff like this can make a floor guy at a place like mine a little more pissy than it would a bouncer that is only employed to keep the peace. See, we are also responsible for cleaning the bar, taking out trash and doing a quick sweep & mop at the end of the night. Therefore, when we find someone doing any of the following, we get fucking pissed: pissing on the floor, in a trash can, puking anywhere, spilling or dropping drinks or breaking beer bottles, not throwing away trash, writing on the walls, clogging up the toilets, using toilets as trash cans, ect. ect.

And hands down, frat boys and sorority girls are the worst. I know this because in a normal crowd we'll have anywhere from a 25%-50% greek crowd. The mess is always fairly predictable and not too horrible. If we happen to be hosting a private or semi-private social/date night/greek function where it is 100% (or close to) greek customers, the bar always, always, always, always gets trashed. As if that isn't bad enough, the customers are always much more intoxicated than the usual crowd. I find it funny when I get to throw out drunk frat boys from their own social. It's funny because they're paying me to do it.

And that's my little "fuck you" to the retards who don't know how to hold their alcohol or act like civilized human beings when they're downtown trashing the place I work at.


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