Friday, February 02, 2007

People are retards

Something that makes me wonder about people is the way they act when they enter a bar. For the most part, people overall are fairly well behaved, polite and know how to act civilized. But as soon as they enter a bar/club and get a few drinks in them, the years of training of social acceptability they have learned goes out the window. So it's no wonder that I find people refusing to obey social norms after five or six bourbons and cokes.

Why in the world would a guy enter a bathroom, see a line, and find it okay to unzip and take a nice long piss in the guys sink or trash can? I know that, for the most part, guys don't say shit to other guys while in the bathroom (hence the guys rules of the bathroom), but as soon as a guy gets a buzz and has to take a leak, they find it okay to talk loudly, hug, give high fives, snort lines, smoke and relieve themselves in whatever corner they happen to be standing closest to.

Anyhow, I'm not one to take anything personally in terms of what dumbass fratboys do in the club I work at, but I find it offensive that any guy would piss in a trash can that I eventually will be hauling out to the front door at the end of the night. The same goes for the sink that I eventually will be washing my hands in. Why the hell would you piss in a sink? Even before I worked at a bar and understood the importance of not drawing attention to yourself while out drinking, I never pissed in a sink. Or a trash can for that matter.

My curiousity about people losing their ability to be socially acceptable goes beyond pissing in odd places. The rudeness of people never ceases to amaze me. If someone gets rejected at the door, there are individuals that find it okay to haul off and throw a punch at the guy telling him he can't come in. This, to me, confirms why the door guy didn't let him in. So, thanks for proving him right. And by the way, enjoy that mouthful of sidewalk you'll soon be consuming.

Some guys like to walk up to girls dancing in a group of their female friends who obviously aren't looking for guys to dance with, and start humping the closest one from the back. Shit, if a random guy started humping me, I'd probably turn around and knock him out. So I feel horrible for these girls who are out to have a good time who get harassed by drunk frat boys who are only looking for a place to stick their dick.

Which also brings me to another subject. Fucking in the bathroom. We all know this happens at bars, but let me assure you, catching a drunk couple screwing in a stall is not fun. Props to them for trying to take care of business without the awkward next morning, but Jesus people, take it outside to your car! As romantic as this may seem while you're 15 drinks deep after Bourbon Streets power hour, I'm hardly amused (or aroused for that matter) when I find a shithoused frat boy screwing a chubby blonde tri delt.

The point I'm trying to make is that when a person enters a bar, the requirement for socially acceptable behavior is not waived for the night. Cameras are everywhere downtown and tomorrow when you're sober, I'll be laughing at the stupid shit you did thats still saved on the computer. You might think you're the sexiest man in the fucking world, but rest assured I'm watching from somewhere while you're on the dance floor seizuring next to that fatass that you think looks so amazing.


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