Mari Gras

Tomorrow night is "fat tuesday" and I am dreading it like any other holiday that involves going out to bars and drinking way too much. St. Patricks Day, New Years Eve, and the bike races around here known as Twilight, and every damn home football game are huge pains in my ass.

Each of these little "holidays" have their own little twerks, but the one thing they all have in common is that it involves little college kids going out and actually drinking more than they normally would. This wouldn't be such a big deal in a normal town, but Athens is a place known for its party atmosphere, which involves college kids drinking themselves retarded. So for a day to be celebrated by drinking more, well...it can be a little annoying, at least from my point of view.

The thing that makes Mardi Gras even worse than a normal excessive drinking holiday is that there will undoubtedly be an abundance of underaged drunk girls flashing drunk guys. And plenty of other girls who are of-age. The trashier bars will have these girls do this on top of their bar while dancing to the latest booty shaking top 40 hip hop shit. The trashier girls will do more than just flash their breasts at the guys. You can use your imagination what they'll do. Or even better, you can take a stroll through downtown Athens at about 1am and peak in a few bars and see it for yourself. And the guys love this.

The later the night gets, the drunker the guys get. The more drunk the guys get, the less inhibitions they have. And when a drunk frat boy has a couple sets of boobs in front of his face, he wants to touch them. Eventually he does, and that's where I come in.

This would all be fine and dandy with me if I wasn't working. I would be at home in bed by 11pm because I know how downtown gets on this night. But I am working. This is where my problem with this day comes in. Now, the place I work at may or may not have this going on. I won't say. But whether we want it to or not, there will be at least a few girls lifting their shirts for the guys. And where there are boobs and drunk guys, there will be groping. Like I said, this is where I come in and have to escort the guys out. And I just don't want to put up with that shit this year. But I have to. But I won't be happy about it.

So all of you guys who will be out tomorrow night, enjoy your drinks and have a good time. But if you're at a bar where this flashing shit (or more) is going on, keep your goddamn hands to yourself. Oh...and don't try to get up on the bar with the chicks either. Nobody came out tonight to see your fat drunkass sweating and convulsing on the bartop all over the girls. Ok?