An Example of What Not to Do

They spent the last hour of the night pressed against the bar, making out. I heard he licked the side of her face at one point. At another point, she was moaning and thrusting herself into him. Everyone around was laughing at them, some taking pictures and posing for the camera while they went on, completely oblivious.

They were stopped when they made a beeline for the girls bathroom, unable to control their urges. At one point, she fell down a set of stairs she was so drunk.

While trying to re-enter the bar after they had left, which was well after 2am, she faceplanted right at my feet and rolled over onto her back, spreadeagled. She was wearing a skirt, and I wasn't amused because she was a tad bit on the thick side. Oh fuck, who am I kidding? She was fat.

Don't be this couple. Please. You just may scar your local bartender or door guy for a lifetime.