Fake IDs

There's always a few of these in the paper every year or two.

Being at the door of a popular bar downtown, I have the unique perspective to have a "finger to the wind" so to speak, to the going-ons of which fake IDs happen to be in circulation at the moment.

I see it constantly, and it doesn't take long for me to figure out that there's a random guy printing fake Florida IDs up somewhere in his apartment when a new crop of them begin to present themselves to me by obviously underaged kids on the weekends.

Let's not forget the wonderful North Carolina IDs that were in circulation some time ago, or the Texas IDs before that. I see a lot of manufactured and/or altered Georgia IDs, but the good ones are few and far between. As of now, Florida happens to be a popular state to manufacture, and let me tell you...whoever's making them makes some shitty-ass IDs. If you're reading this, get a different job, dude. Because I just don't think forgery is in your cards.

All to say, the article in the paper is a nice little insight to whats going on downtown, but take a moment to think: what if the downtown police had been working with doormen all along? Don't you think a few questions by them from time to time might provide a little more insight more quickly than simply the police officers taking them up themselves whenever they have a run-in with a drunk 18 year old? Perhaps instead of threatening to give us background checks and license us or breathalyze us to make sure we're not drinking ourselves to death at work while letting underaged girls offer sexual favors to get them inside, maybe you could see if we'd like to help you instead of being the target of your threats?

Even better, I bet the government could put an even bigger dent in the fake ID manufacturing operation if those in power would go one step further and offer bars and doormen an incentive to confiscate fake IDs and cut off their use at the earliest point possible. If I had any incentive to do that, I'd be delivering a sack-full of the things to the police almost every single night.

But I don't have an incentive. No bar does. I'm not even aware of any bars that offer incentives to their employees soley as an internal policy for confiscating fake IDs. Why not? It's pretty simple: Because nobody really gives a flying fuck.

So until then, I'll just reject the poor, underaged soul and hand them their fake ID back for them to try and get into the next bar. And eventually, they'll get in and drink and the cycle will repeat itself until the county gets serious and actually passes a law that's worth a shit.