Freshmen

Recently I've noticed an influx of extremely underaged kids drunkenly running around downtown. Now...I know what some of you may be thinking: They're all already completely underaged! Completely true. But these kids I'm seeing around haven't even began at UGA for the regularly scheduled fall semester. They're barely out of high school. They're in town early and they're here to annoy me.

I was recently alerted to something called Freshman College. Apparently, incoming freshman have the option of coming here a month before class starts to get a few extra hours and be introduced to the great town of Athens. They'll be involved in various activities, classes, "rigorous coursework" and basically make the transition from high school to college much easier than it can be at times.

They also like to come downtown and disturb my otherwise calm summer that I always look forward to by yelling, screaming, staggering, and being annoying - always in my general vicinity, it seems.

Normally, I have time to mentally prepare myself for the incoming class of freshman who inevitably come downtown and throw up all over the place. My preperations usually don't begin until early August, but now, thanks to this "Freshman College", I've had the opportunity to get an unexpected early sample of the bullshit I'll get to endure in full force next month when downtown is overrun with 18 year olds who don't realize that a dozen shots of anything in an hour is a bad idea.

And they look so goddamn young. I know, I know...I'm old(er), and a whole hell of lot more of the college kids look young to me as time goes by and I get even older, but these people coming downtown now look like my fucking kid sister who's just out of middle school. I would barely trust them to cross the street without an adult accompanying them, and they're coming out drinking themselves absolutely retarded and likely driving home.

Still, I can't blame them entirely. I did the same shit myself years ago. But the difference is, I had a little bit of common sense. I knew it was a bad idea to wander the sidewalks of downtown Athens with drink in hand. I knew I shouldn't get into a fist fight on the sidewalk because that's where the bike cops could see you. And when they see you fighting and you're underage, they can arrest you. I knew I shouldn't have a dozen drinks and then try to drive home. Arguing with the door guys was never an option, either. If I didn't get in, so what? Next bar, please. They all served alcohol, was my reasoning. And at the time, I was more interested in seeing how much alcohol my body could endure before I blacked out, as opposed to getting in the popular trendy bar where those hot sorority girls were dancing like sluts, surely making their fathers proud.

Yet despite my own mistakes, I emerged from that period relatively unscathed. I attribute that directly to continuing to have a tiny bit of common sense, regardless of how intoxicated I was. But these kids now, a majority of them, don't. And now, they're in my face a month earlier than expected, doing everything in their power to annoy me and make my life more difficult.

My response? Drinking heavily myself, bitching about it on this blog, and continuing to lobby the powers that be at the bar to arm the floor staff with some type of weapon.