Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Enough is Enough

Drunk people don't listen to reason. They can't stay on subject. I tell them one thing, they say something that has absolutely nothing to do with what has just come out of my mouth.

"Hey dude, you can't come in because I think you're a huge toolbag."

"But I'm 23!"


Yea, you're out of dresscode so I'm not going to be able to let you in."

"It's my birthday, though!"

More crickets.

"We're closed man. Sorry."

"Do you know who I am? I own the restaurant down the street!"

"Yea. That sure is nice."

So therefore, as of late, I've given up trying to explain my actions to them when my actions aren't in their best interest. I've decided my next best option for dealing with jerkoffs is to just shoot them. I should stand up at the door with a shotgun, and instead of dealing with the hassle of having the why-you-can't-come-inside-tonight conversation with one of our many valuable customers, I'll simply dispatch them with a well placed OO buckshot shell to center mass.

Granted, it might get a bit messy, but at least I won't have to talk much.

In all seriousness, though, please...if you are friends with or happen to know a drunken toolbag who frequents downtown, please instruct them to either 1) stay away from me or 2) read up on common courtesy and basic etiquette for living life and dealing with other human beings.

Thank you.


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