Tuesday, November 27, 2007

College Students Can't Tip

Not exactly breaking news, is it?

This doesn't apply to every college kid who comes into a bar, but when I go through credit card receipts at the end of the night and look at what people tipped, I'm always left a little wanting.

A lot wanting, actually.

You motherfuckers can't tip! Or don't know how to. Or refuse to.

Either way, I offer this tutorial on how to tip, specific to Athens. It's actually pretty simple. Keep in mind this is the bare minimum.

Cash Transactions:

1 beer = $1

It doesn't matter if the beer is .25 cents or $5. Tip ONE dollar. Or more, if you'd like. There's no ceiling for this, but there is a minimum.

1 Liquor drink = $1 - $2 dollars. Preferably $2.

Shots? For a round of 4 jagerbombs that go for $4.50 apiece, which would be an $18 dollar tab, $2-$3 dollars is acceptable. Please note the difference between acceptable and preferable.

Credit Cards:

Tip 20%. Nothing less. Bottom line.

This is about as simple as I can make it. If you order more complicated drinks such as martinis, mojitos, or any shit that requires more than one garnish, more than 3 ingredients or some kind of caramel or chocolate syrup in the glass, you better be prepared to cough up 3 or 4 bucks per drink, especially when we're slammed.

And the old rule continunes to remain true: Tip big on your first round and your bartender, if they're worth a shit, will remember you and make you a priority the rest of the night. Or, at least, they won't intentionally ignore you.

People will complain that they shouldn't have to tip on beer because all the bartender has to do is pop open a top and hand it to you. This is the opinion of the misinformed.

Before the bartender even had the chance to just "pop open the beer" for your sorry ass, they had to stock the cooler with multiple cases of beer. Fill up their wells with ice. Cut their fruit. Set out their barmats. Occasionally, restock their liquor. Wipe down the bartop. And then do it all again when their shift is over.

So cough up the money, motherfucker.

Sure, buying that beer is helping the owner of the bar, but as employees, we work off tips. Bartenders work strictly off tips, but doorguys do as well to an extent.

Some doorguys get paid by the hour + tips. Some doorguys get their "shift pay" plus tips. Some don't get anything but a percentage of the tips. But either way, we're getting a cut of that shit, and you better show us the money if you'd like to hang out for any length of time in my bar.

Shitty tippers and non tippers are quickly pointed out to us at the place I work at. There's a fuck-ton of college kids to usher inside the bar, so I could care less if I have to kick a few of you out for being a cheap little bitch.

And I do it all the fucking time.

There's no "hooking us up at the end of the night" or "getting us the next round". Don't promise us a "fat tip later" in the hopes that we'll forget. And especially don't pull the "I'll pretend to be putting money in the tip jar but then when the bartender turns around I'll not really drop it in".

We know your games. We know you're all cheap. So...if you don't have the money to tip, then you don't have the money to go out.

If you can't tip then keep your cheap ass at Bourbon Street and drink their watered down liquor for power hour and stay the fuck away from my bar.


At 7:25 PM, Blogger ian in athens said...

I agree with most of what you've said in this post, but $3-$4 tip on a martini? That's a pretty easy drink to make (gin/vodka + vermouth), and most bartenders in this town STILL can't make a decent one.

At 7:27 PM, Blogger ian in athens said...

I just realized that you're probably talking about of those silly, sugary, colored cocktails served in a cocktail glass and named after some key flavor with "-tini" tacked on at the end. These are not martinis, they are abominations.

At 9:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is why I don't drink and keep my broke ass at home.

At 12:06 AM, Blogger Polusplagchnos said...

If I pay something with a credit card and there's the option to tip, I tip in cash. I don't know if other people do this, but I was informed a long time ago by my brother that it's easier on the staff that way.

I don't know if it's true, but maybe a little of that is going on, too?

Not that I'm saying you aren't correct. I see way too many people not being generous or compassionate with the tip; it's not just a problem downtown but in any service industry, I think.

But anyway, at least there's some numbers being thrown out there.

At 8:17 AM, Blogger AthensDoorGuy said...

Ian, you may have a point there...but one of the most annoying things about bartending is when we're slammed and some little girl asks for a chocolate martini (yes, not actually a real martini, but nonetheless, still called a martini by our fabulous guests) a royal flush, a red snapper and some other random girly drink or shot.

I should have been a little more clear.

At 6:32 PM, Blogger Adrian said...

What do we tip for those free Cokes?


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