The Excitement of my Upcoming Weekend...

Tonight I again will find myself among hordes of drunk college kids for the millionth time, it seems. I'm going to walk around in the bar for the duration, clean up spilled drinks, trash, puke, and various other human fluids that I find throughout my several hour shift.

I'm simply thrilled at the thought of this.

If I'm especially unlucky, there will be a fight. I'll be left with the responsibility of stopping said fight, and ejecting the most guilty party. They're all guilty as far as I'm concerned, and eventually I kick them all out. If they don't want to stop then I'll have to physically eject them. I don't like this because it usually means that I risk getting hurt, and I don't like to get hurt. Getting hurt means I risk losing income because of an injury, and that just pisses me off.

I'll probably have some uncomfortable conversations against my will with kids who want me to join them in their drunken night, and share the joy that they feel after drinking a dozen cheap drinks at one of the many power hours that various bars offer early in the evening. I'll be completely sober which means I'll be annoyed, and I won't even attempt to try to understand the elation they're feeling at that particular moment. By the end of this unwanted conversation, I'll come off as a dick and/or an asshole. I'm okay with that.

The end of the night is the best. The lights come on and everyone shuffles towards the door and I get to continue cleaning for another hour or so. By the time I walk out of the front door, downtown will be fairly empty and I'll be on my way back home, ready to get up at fucking 9am to go to my other job.

So...my weekend in a nutshell. I hope you've got better plans for your Saturday night than this.