Friday, August 29, 2008

What ID?

As I stand behind the bar, I watch a group near the door highfive their friend who has just walked in the bar. They're obviously excited he's made it in. The friend happily takes his wallet out, removes his ID, and passes it to one of the other guys in the group. The other guy takes it, puts it into his wallet, and places his wallet back into his pocket.

I smirk a little bit knowing he's been busted, and call over a floor guy to take care of the problem. The floor guy approachs the group and asks the wrong guy for his ID. The right guy, of course, scurries away into the crowded bar and disappears, knowing he doesn't have an ID to show should he be asked for one. I decide to take things into my own hands and hunt the kid down.

"Hey bud, come here," I say to the kid once I find him and motion him over to me. He immediately looks like a deer in headlights.

"Yea?" he replies hesistantly.

"Let me see your ID real quick," I say.

He pulls his wallet out and opens it up, revealing an empty space where his drivers license is supposed to be.

"Uhh...the guy at the door took it," he says, unsure of himself.

"Oh, he did?" I say with interest. "Why did he do that?"

"Um, I'm not sure..." He's uncomfortable. He's figeting and won't make eye contact with me.

"Are you sure the door guy took it from you?" I press him.

"Uh, yea, I think so..."

"You think so? Are you sure you didn't just hand it to your friend in the yellow shirt back there at the door?"


At this point it wasn't any fun for me anymore and I direct a waiting floor guy who had noticed our unpleasant exchange to escort him out of the bar. He does so.

For a second I feel bad, but then I remember that apparently I'm an asshole so I continue not to care.

More fun stories this weekend when the first home game starts tomorrow afternoon and 12+ hours worth of drinking culminate in drunken debauchery tomorrow night. I'm sure I'll have plenty to share.

Also, I'd encourage everyone to review this before heading out to tailgate tomorrow. Don't drive, don't litter, stay with your friends, and please tip your bartenders and don't fight your door guys when you're out tomorrow night. This will make everyone's night much easier. Please.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Busy Night

Last night was busy as shit. Mostly because I'm lazy, I plan on listing a few highlights of the evening instead of putting things into story form:

-Guidos got into a fight. We threw them out.

-I got pushed from behind by a guy with spikey hair who thought the line to exit the bar didn't apply to him. I threw him out.

-Someone threw up all over the bathroom wall. I thought this was funny because I wasn't the one who had to clean it up.

-When the lights are on and the bar is empty and you've been told multiple times by a half dozen guys that we're closed and you have to leave, the incorrect response is to call us assholes. This particular drunk ass was extremely lucky I had a little patience left and walked out under his own drunken power.

-Barcode got stung by the cops.

This concludes my half-assed boring post. I'll see you all down here tonight drinking yourselves into a blackout.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

The First Weekend Back

Although I have to apologize for my lack of posting anything that could be considered a story, I'm rather surprised at the attention my last post, all of one sentence, has attracted.

Luckily this weekend is going to be one in which I expect to be nothing short of ridiculous. The students are moving back into the dorms today, as I write this in fact, and I imagine in about 8
hours they're going to be all amped up and ready to go downtown and give that new fake ID a shot. They rest of the kids that already (sort of) know the ins and outs of downtown will surely be hitting it up this weekend. I imagine a ridiculous intake of alcohol will be on their list of things to do as well.

As for my last post, my feelings are that yet another law directed towards the bars is again a misguided effort to punish those of us who are doing our jobs and more of nothing towards those actively trying to break the law. I know every door guy isn't as honest as I am, but lets face it: For every dirty door guy knowingly letting in underaged kids or selling drugs or beating people up in the back ally, theres hundreds of underaged kids running around with fake IDs, doing blow in the bathrooms, driving drunk (regardless of if they drank the alcohol in a bar or at a keg party), and doing everything they can to to live our their college careers in a substance induced haze. But hey...let's arrest they door guys, right? Great plan.

On a side note to all the kids moving into the dorms and apartments this weekend: When you decide to go downtown and get obliterated drunk this weekend, stop for a moment and consider your poor, sober door guy that you're giving shit to when arguing over your fake ID. Please?

Saturday, August 09, 2008

The Wisdom of the ACC Government

I could write an extensive post on this, or sum everything up in one word:


Friday, August 08, 2008

Sideways Busted

The local government fucks with the bar scene yet again. While I think the prohibition against "drink and drown" and "all you can drink" specials is ridiculous, it's a fairly well known rule downtown among bar owners/employees. Did Sideways really think they could get away with it? Other bars do it too, so I can imagine it's only a matter of time before the local police direct their efforts towards busting other bars.

Luckily, Sideways probably won't lose their liquor license, if history has shown us anything. A big fat fine is probably in store for Clarke County to pocket and an example has been made to other bars, not surprisingly at the beginning of the school year. Strangely, that's when most of these ridiculous kinds of things tend to happen. I'd bet that in the coming month or so we'll see a surge in underaged arrests that will be well documented by the Athens Banner Herald and the Red & Black, and a few sobriety checkpoints on the Athens roadways which will surely net some arrests of college kids. A few bars might be busted for serving underagers without any kind of real punishment and then the rest of the semester will be the usual hum drum of downtown Athens, if there's anything normal about downtown at all.

Again, I think it's a misguided effort by the local government to put on a big show to the local taxpayers. But if you've read my blog at all in the past, you'll know my feelings on that particular subject.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Another Year Begins

This weekend promises to be the warmup before next weekend, when the dorms are supposed to fill up (or so I've been told) and the real fun begins for the next 2 months or so.

So...expect a new post or two on Saturday and maybe even Sunday.

I also plan on commenting on the abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous actions that our football players have been getting into downtown, specifically the brawl at The Library last Friday night. These guys are shooting themselves in the foot lately.

Here's to drinking too much, throwing up on the bartop, fighting the bouncers, and getting arrested. Cheers.